I remember Carla told me this in High School.

I just finished watching the movie “My Mini Black Dress.”

The story is about friendship. How four girls in their mid-twenties encounter a lot of problems, problems that we commonly encounter during our twenties. And how they had kept their friendship despite of all their differences.

And I suddenly thought about my friends.

My high school friends, my girl friends.

I could still communicate with some, but we’ve all changed.

We all went to different universities during college.

And now, we’re all trying to walk the different walks in life.

But right now, I’m missing them and I’m teary eyed. :’)

I miss them terribly.

Now I understand how important communication is. We didn’t have problems like the ones in the movie to lose the friendship.

We simply stopped communicating. Maybe because we all found new friends in college.

That’s life

But I wish we could all have another road trip or tour like we always used to do when we’re in high school.

I watched “Daddy Long Legs” again. The korean version. I feel so inlove whenever I watch that movie

.

Is it because – I was never inlove before? Or is it because I am thrilled on how a man loves a woman?

I do sometimes claim that I had been inlove before, but… I am not really sure myself. And I cannot call it love or being inlove because the feeling isn’t mutual.

I do resent the idea and my feeling of waiting for love, for I feel it is corny. But am I really waiting for love?

Honestly, I hate to admit, but, I, too, dream of being inlove. I want to feel compassion and love for someone. I want to know how being inlove feels. They say you don’t choose who you fall inlove with. Is that possible?

I often hear, when you’re inlove, you will be able to feel all kinds of emotion. But I do think that – that is a crazy idea. I had felt all kinds of emotion a man is capable of feeling. Am I still missing something?

I hate to admit, but, I am truly afraid of being inlove. I feel that I won’t be able to express my emotion and compassion to someone I am not even related to. How can you trust someone you don’t even know?

I have seen people lying to their lovers. I have seen those who are so obsessed and crazy about love. I have seen how they acted and looked so stupid just for that little thing called love. It’s uncanny!!!!

I am afraid….that love can ruin my aspirations in life. I am so scared that it can ruin me.

But, somehow, deep down inside, I want to experience true love. I think I had a chance with love, but I blew it. I do sometimes regret my decision of not acknowledging it, but why do I have to start LOVE when I have to end it anyway.

Maybe it isn’t my time to be inlove yet.

i am neurotic*

Speaking Your Mind

is NOT being

JUDGMENTAL.

December 8, 2009

I AM, RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT,

FIGHTING TEARS BACK FROM MY TEAR DUCT.

:’(

“DON’T FLOW” - I told my tears.

“BECAUSE IF YOU DO,

WE WILL BOTH CRY IN VAIN.

YOU DON’T WANT THAT,

DO YOU?”

♥ ♥ ♥

I am going through my old journal.

and I am amaze (I think it is absurd and funny actually!) how I talk to myself.

♥ ♥ ♥

“THE MOST IMPORTANT CONVERSATION

YOU’LL HAVE IS

THE ONE YOU’LL HAVE TO YOURSELF”

–> I forgot who quoted this. I f you know, please write it in the comment box below